Auntie Karen hasn’t been let out of the closet very often lately, because when she does emerge she has a tendency to be rather pungent in her opinions.
Auntie Karen is not a fuddy-duddy. She’s a pretty “with it” kind of gal. She has lots of things in her past that she doesn’t care to share only because some of the more innocent in the crowd might go screaming off into the hinterlands at the mention of them. She has done some gnarly things.
However, Auntie Karen has never taken off her clothes and taken a picture of herself. She has never sent a picture of her bare boobs to anyone. The only people who might have some idea of her anatomy are those lucky gentleman with whom she had some hanky panky and her doctors. She has never even taken off her clothes in front of her female friends, either, since all her female friends have equipment of a similar nature.
Auntie Karen believes that the human body is a beautiful thing, but if she is going to witness a naked human body she would much prefer that it was male. Not pretty male, either, which is instantaneously suspicious in Auntie Karen’s mind. She wonders at the audience of such a selfie and doubts, very much, if it is geared toward the female persuasion.
Lately, Auntie Karen has been assailed and assaulted by various naked pictures. She has learned never to go trolling on Instagram without having been fortified by very strong coffee. Evidently, it is the thing for women of all sizes to reveal their abdomens and paint eyes on it with belly buttons being mouths. She is not amused and would like to expunge the sight of anyone else’s navel from her long-term memory.
Auntie Karen would like to suggest a return to some level of shame. Just enough to induce a great many people to put their clothes back on and refrain from some of their conversations on social media. Auntie Karen is a cosmopolitan woman with no desire whatsoever to hear about details of masturbation or the idea of bestiality being made legal.
Final words of wisdom: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.