I have already admitted, and been excoriated in the past, for not being a feminist. At least how a feminist is defined nowadays. I read somewhere that it’s considered the fourth wave of feminism. Nope, not for me.
However, once upon a time I did read or hear something that a feminist said that I agree with. She maintained that men are better at asking for a raise than women are. Women tend to be more submissive and self-deprecating. They don’t come out and simply ask to be compensated as easily as men do.
I totally and absolutely agree with that. It used to be agony for me to go into my boss’s office and have a heart-to-heart talk about my salary. Even lately, having been out of the corporate world for thirteen years, I still cringe about those sessions.
The other day, I was listening to a webinar in which the three male contributors were saying all these wonderful things about how authors should come out and ask for reviews from their readers, and ask for readers to pass along their name as well as the name of their book if they liked it or even join their newsletter. These men had absolutely no problems doing that.
I do. Then I realized that it’s probably just a continuation of asking for a raise.
Why shouldn’t I ask a reader to give me a review if they liked the book – or even if they didn’t? Why do I feel this reserve about asking them to pass along the name of one of my books to someone else or even to recommend me as an author?
It might be part of my childhood training. I was taught to be modest and self-effacing. People who bragged about themselves were tacky. Being boastful was a sign of poor character and a horrible upbringing.
All of those things feed into the reluctance to toot your own horn or to ask a reader to help you gain a readership. Pushing myself to be on YouTube – as initially painful as it has been – was one step on the road to doing new things. Look for me to urge you to write a review, or to recommend my books.
Who knows? I might become as brave as a male author. 🙂