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You sent me another email, about the 15th in the past two weeks. You’re threatening to out me to all my readers because I’ve accessed a porn site.

Along with about 100 million other people.

Then you threatened to make my life miserable – your words – by showing everyone what’s on my camera feed.

You’re an ass, hacker.

This email was really nasty. Most of the previous emails have been threatening, but this one went above and beyond. I know better than to answer you by replying, so we’ll do this publicly, shall we?

I don’t access porn sites. My imagination is better than anything I can see on the internet. Besides, I’m not into women and most of the porn sites feature scantily clan, spread eagled babes. Not my cuppa, dude.

Even male full fronted nudity doesn’t do it for me, because I’d bet that most of those models are into other males and that’s not my thing, either. I confess I still don’t get the attraction of M/M romance.

Let’s just pretend, however, that I allowed my fingers to do the walking and they veered onto a porn site. You’ve threatened to show what I do when I get to the good stuff – and have called me perverted. Pardon me while I laugh uproariously. Remember the imagination mentioned above?

I am trying to figure out just how a camera would be able to film me pleasuring myself – which is a much nicer term than you used, you flipping idiot. I think I would have to lean back in my chair, haul my legs up onto my desk and assume the gynecological position for my camera to be able to catch me in the act.

You’re an ignorant ass.

By the way, being of a secure bent, I have bandaids over all the cameras on all my devices. That is, should I slip up and throw my legs up on the desk.

Go away, you flippin’ moron.