Dear Hacker

You sent me another email, about the 15th in the past two weeks. You’re threatening to out me to all my readers because I’ve accessed a porn site.

Along with about 100 million other people.

Then you threatened to make my life miserable – your words – by showing everyone what’s on my camera feed.

You’re an ass, hacker.

This email was really nasty. Most of the previous emails have been threatening, but this one went above and beyond. I know better than to answer you by replying, so we’ll do this publicly, shall we?

I don’t access porn sites. My imagination is better than anything I can see on the internet. Besides, I’m not into women and most of the porn sites feature scantily clan, spread eagled babes. Not my cuppa, dude.

Even male full fronted nudity doesn’t do it for me, because I’d bet that most of those models are into other males and that’s not my thing, either. I confess I still don’t get the attraction of M/M romance.

Let’s just pretend, however, that I allowed my fingers to do the walking and they veered onto a porn site. You’ve threatened to show what I do when I get to the good stuff – and have called me perverted. Pardon me while I laugh uproariously. Remember the imagination mentioned above?

I am trying to figure out just how a camera would be able to film me pleasuring myself – which is a much nicer term than you used, you flipping idiot. I think I would have to lean back in my chair, haul my legs up onto my desk and assume the gynecological position for my camera to be able to catch me in the act.

You’re an ignorant ass.

By the way, being of a secure bent, I have bandaids over all the cameras on all my devices. That is, should I slip up and throw my legs up on the desk.

Go away, you flippin’ moron.

8 thoughts on “Dear Hacker”

  1. There’s always someone who would rather steal money through criminal activity, bullying, or by cheating than work on an honest day’s work. Nothing worse than someone trying to create a lie about someone else. Disgusting. I’m glad you’re ignoring the emails…that’s what the spam folder’s for…and calling them out on here. If they follow you for real, they’ll read it and know they’ve been revealed as the scum of the earth they are. Huzzah! xo

  2. I can’t be naked in front of the computer , I sometimes use…. They will kick you out of the library /The internet has it’s fair share of unsavory characters for sure but I also bet you weren’t the only one this hacker tried to scam , hopefully other people did not fall for it either

  3. Sorry the person is spamming you like that. Sadly, someone will believe the jerk and fork over money in bitcoin.

  4. I’m not sure if I’ve gotten an email like that – most weird things go into spam folder, or if they make it into my inbox, the sender name or subject is so obvious I just move them to spam without opening.

    I still get some odd phone calls from ‘the IRS or other government agencies’ (hah) that are coming after me – not long ago I got one from the ‘government of Texas’ (lol – I was in Dallas once 30 years ago). Always makes me wonder about why they bother, their wording is so poor – and who falls for these things? Someone must or they wouldn’t keep doing it.

  5. Well, I am still considering how I could manage the legs and feet up on the desk. I believe I would turn over backwards, hit my head, get amnesia and instantly forget who I am.

    But, I digress.

    OK from what you have said, I believe the hacker is using a shotgun attempt. If he/she fires at enough people, at least a few would have done what they suggest and a few of those will take the threats seriously.

    I have no camera on my PC, but just for my personal peace of mind, I believe I will cover the camera on my tablet.

    But, I must say, your hacker must have a brain the size of a black eyed pea. I reckon hackers by their very nature are not the sharpest knives in the drawer. Which is a good thing, cause a smart criminal might start robbing banks or some such.

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