Who I Am

This morning I wrote a post about a baby who lived only forty minutes after her birth and how that story made me cry. Then I compared that beautiful tribute I’d read from a member of her family to the video of pro-Planned Parenthood protesters here in San Antonio who bragged about having abortions.

I deleted that blog post just as I’ve deleted most other blog posts that touched on controversial subjects. Recently, I deleted 94 out of 200 draft posts on my site. That’s how much I censor myself.

Yet I’m a woman who believes passionately in certain things. I have very strong political views. I love my country deeply. I was an Air Force dependent, active duty Navy, and married to a Marine. It is difficult for me, sometimes, to keep my mouth shut and not to post about certain things. The more insane the world gets the harder it is.

You can always tell when I’m having a difficult time because I will go radio silent for days.

You see, I’m a writer. That pretty much defines who I am. I tell stories and I love telling stories. The one I’m working on right now, for example, excites me so much that I can barely wait to start work every morning.

So, I have to ask myself what’s more important to me? The identity my strong opinions gives me or my identity as a writer? There are times when it’s almost a tossup, frankly. More and more lately I’ve felt that it was necessary for me to stand up and say: this is who I am. This is who Karen Ranney really is. I’ve gotten the feeling that we’re reaching critical mass, that the time has come for people of conscience to declare themselves, for us to say, “No more,” when it comes to certain things.

So let me put it to you this way. If it’s a choice of life over death I choose life. If it’s a choice between being crazy or sane I choose sanity. (And sanity isn’t that difficult to define, lately.) If it’s a choice between tolerance and violence I choose tolerance. If it’s a choice between facts and feelings I choose facts. If I must choose between being a victim or being an independent, rational, thinking human being who accepts responsibility for the stupidity or validity of every choice I’ve ever made, I will take the latter, thank you.

After this post I will once more retreat to the mild mannered writer I appear to be most of the time. Just know that there’s a thumping heart beneath each post. If there’s something stupid, hideous, anti-American, or just plain wrong happening in the world I probably know about it and I’m no doubt ranting silently. However, I’ll try to keep my true nature under wraps for the most part.

I just thought it was important that you know who I am. Karen Ranney, teller of stories and passionate woman.

12 thoughts on “Who I Am”

  1. Karen,

    I understand what you mean. Being hugely popular it has to be hard sometimes to hold back on opinions, views, etc. But, I do believe you. It feels as if everything is coming to a head, and it’s time to stand up for what we believe in.

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  2. Thank you for taking the time for writing your life experiences, it’s fun to connect with you, and sharing what’s in your heart♡ I agree with your views also am happy to hear you’re working because when you work WE all benefit! Haha…yeah us! Love, a member of FB Anonymous for 3 yrs (freedom) 🙂 and an active member of K.R. Book Club!

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  3. LOL – I have never considered you mild mannered.

    Funny you should say this. I write letters to the editor. Yesterday, one of my letters was published….that happens. It is an opinion not shared by everyone. In fact, up until recently I did not feel as strongly as I do now.

    Anyhow, I got off facebook and twitter because of the anger as well as the “facts” which are nowhere in the neighborhood of reality. Some of the people who express these facts are relatives of mine. I come from a large extended family.

    Some of them will at least listen and actually hear. Others apparently think I am speaking some dead foreign language. They choose not to understand. It has made our relationships distant and that is a sad thing.

    But, I have always been a peace maker, a keep your mouth shutter, a wimp.

    I am so old now, what the H are they gonna do to me? I am too old to be worried any longer.

    Karen. you done good and please continue to do good. We will defend to the death your right to be you.

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  4. Concur 110%….It does feel like we’re reaching a tipping point. It’s frightening in a way & worries the devil outta me.
    Gets harder every day to bite my tongue.

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  5. Good for you! Sometimes we need to express who we are and what makes us tick. I agree with everything you said and feel the same way. I do my best to keep my ‘social’ opinions to myself but there are many times I’m biting my tongue while seething in silence.
    Huzzah to all those who tolerate those who refuse to think before they speak and refuse to listen to others in a fair and respectful manner.
    This is your platform, Karen, and you may say whatever you wish. We will always respect your right to say it. xo

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  6. I loved reading your post. I agree with what you are saying. I also love this country and when I hear people put it down I want to tell them they should just leave. Go somewhere else if you hate it here.
    Women who laugh and tell the world how many abortions they have had make me sick. There are women who would love a baby and can’t have one.

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  7. I can understand you writing and then deleting posts. I do the same thing with Facebook. By writing it I can get my feelings and aggravation out, so they don’t fester. As I’ve gotten older, I have learned how to disagree on subjects without being degrading toward others. I understand not everyone will agree with me and I’m fine with that. There is one rule I try and keep but some people just refuse to listen when I voice it. I do not discuss politics or religion. I have just walked away from a conversation if an individual doesn’t believe me about this rule. I’d rather be viewed as rude then take the chance of someone saying anything that can’t be unsaid.

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