Auntie Karen has been in a residential treatment facility undergoing de-snarkification.
A few days ago she starting shouting, “No! No! No! Are you all freaking nuts?” when Caitlin Jenner appeared as the spokesperson for International Women’s Day. Auntie Karen couldn’t be calmed, and the doctors and nurses had to resort to extreme sedation.
After intensive counseling, she was coaxed to finally accept the reality of our current culture. Unfortunately, she could be heard mumbling, “Dogs consorting with cats, everything up is down, down is up. People marrying their pets. Sex with fish. What’s next? What’s next?”
Fortunately, the counseling (and drugs) were successful because the doctors finally released her this morning.
She was very calm on the drive home. She stared out the car window and commented on the scenery. She saw the stray cats in the neighborhood and murmured, “Cute kitty, kitty.” She hummed to herself as she unpacked her suitcase.
Unfortunately, Auntie Karen made the mistake of looking at the television news while I was in the kitchen making her a snack.
She has been admitted back to the center and I’m hoping that her recovery will be as swift this time around.
The only thing to do in the future is keep her in the padded cell in the backyard where there are no windows and no media. (And no Facebook or Twitter, either.)