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There’s a social movement to Free the Nipple!

My only question is: does the nipple really WANT to be free?

Here’s the Free the Nipple’s Mission Statement:

OUR MISSION

FREE THE NIPPLE IS A GLOBAL PLATFORM FOR CHANGE IN THE WORLD.

WE BELIEVE THAT AS HUMAN BEINGS, WE SHOULD ALL BE TREATED EQUALLY.

WE ARE A GLOBAL MOVEMENT OF EQUALITY, EMPOWERMENT AND FREEDOM.

WE ARE A MOVEMENT OF CHANGE.

Color me stupid, but I have NO idea what that means. Β It sounds like the type of mission statement generated by the Mission Statement Generator website.

I generated a mission statement that reads: Our business is dedicated to conducting the full range of our dynamic metamorphosis with education in integrity and overcoming all obstacles.

If you want to get your own Mission Statement here’s the link:

http://www.netinsight.co.uk/portfolio/mission/missgen_intro.asp

If I were writing the Mission Statement for Free the Nipple! I would be more specific.

With massive apologies to Churchill:

We shall go on to the end. We shall uncover our nipples in France, we shall bare our nipples on the seas and oceans, we shall expose our nipples with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall tear off our blouses, our tops, our shirts, however much they cost. We shall give our nipples the light of day, we shall allow the morning breeze on our nips, we shall gambol in the fields and in the streets naked from the waist up, we shall get poison ivy (or oak) from our running through the hills; regardless, we shall never cover up.Β 

But back to the original question. Do nipples really WANT to be free?

Mine don’t. They had an election. Both voted. It was unanimous. Please. Do not free the nipple.