Schlonged – Or How My Thanksgiving Hiatus Was Rudely Interrupted

Y’all, I just have to give you a warning here. I may veer from the Southern Belle demeanor you expect from me.

Amazon has a pilot available for their Prime members called Love You More.

Here’s their blurb:

Karen Best has a big life. She’s a big girl with a big personality and a big love of Chardonnay, which occasionally, causes her to make some big mistakes with men. But the biggest thing about Karen is her big heart, a heart she uses to excel at her job as a counselor at a group home for young adults with Down syndrome located in an old brownstone in New York City.

Bottom line, there’s a sex scene that startled me a bit (and I WRITE sex, y’all). It ends with the guy collapsing beside the heroine. It’s full frontal male nudity and I was staring in absolute amazement at the guy’s, um, member. (I’d prefer to use the word schlong, but I’ve already used it once and I’m trying to be classy here. 🙂 )

I cannot tell a lie. I think I froze the picture about a dozen times. I was talking aloud to myself. “That can’t be real. Good God, is that real? Is that photoshopped?”

I’ve watched porn before, (and although I’d love you to think that I’m innocent and pure as the wind driven snow that ship has sailed) and this was more graphic than porn. I’m pretty traditional, but I’m pretty laid back, too. I mean, I’m not the Church Lady, telling people what they should or should not do, but I gotta tell you, I was taken aback. (Which is a classy way to say I was sitting there, mouth open, staring at the screen.)

85% of people gave Love You More 5 stars which just goes to show you how out of touch I am.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to watch the pilot and tell me what you think. I am sincerely curious about your opinion. (And I may go watch that scene a couple dozen more times, just to make sure I was watching it correctly. 🙂 )

26 thoughts on “Schlonged – Or How My Thanksgiving Hiatus Was Rudely Interrupted”

  1. Well it actually seems like a interesting story. But on to the assignment: That thing was half his size! My daughter and I couldn’t take our eyes off it!

    I liked seeing Lonnie Anderson; for some reason I’ve always liked her.

    • I’ve always liked her, too, but I couldn’t remember her name.

      I swear, I was mesmerized and then embarrassed about being fascinated. 🙂

  2. You are the BEST! I’m rolling and after your descriptive comment and visual description I AM going to watch. Maybe not tonight because I’m wrung out after my stomach bug. I could just see you rewinding, watching, rewinding. Never change.

    • I have a big TV in my bedroom, but I almost got up and went into the living room where the TV is bigger. I guess I wanted a panoramic view. (SMH.) 🙂

  3. The concept of I Love You More is wonderful. The porn is unnecessary and is distracting to a very good program. I will not watch another episode because I find the distractions of porn in connection with Down syndrome offensive

    • Shirley, I felt like the concept was overshadowed by the porn. Plus, I am getting tired of single women who are supposed to be self-actualizing and independent being portrayed as skanks.

  4. Karen,
    I now have to watch the episode. The show didn’t interest me when I heard about it but I have to see what left you speechless. Lol. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

  5. LOL on my feed reader each blog has one line so when I was glancing down the list this morning all I saw was Karen Ranney Schlonged. WTH? I clicked immediately.

    • I was watching it on my TV, so I doubt if anything will translate over to the web. Plus, I have so many privacy gates, for lack of a better word. I have blockers and filters and “do not track” stuff.

  6. Holy Crapola! That wasn’t a schlong, that was an elephant trunk! You never know with guys. The big tall ones aren’t always the ones carrying heavy. He’s definitely a shower, not a grower. LOL! Thanks for sharing that, Karen. Made my day. I laughed myself silly since he also has kind of a squeaky voice. Happy Thanksgiving darlin’, and everyone else too! xo

    • I don’t know what startled me more, Amy, the episode or the full frontal nudity. For some reason I don’t mind reading about sex, but I just don’t want to see it. I guess reading about it allows me to put my pictures in my head. The visual thing is someone else’s idea.

      • It WAS really in your face, I have to admit, and I could’ve done without it too, but I think it was for comic effect more than anything else. Yes, reading about it is much better. Our imaginations are far more explicit. Laughing.
        I went back and finished watching the episode. I wish I had Amazon Prime. I really liked the show…well, except for when she broke out in song about her boobs, I could do without any of that in any show. But her interaction with the kids at the house and her roommate, that was exceptional. There is much more to this show than flash. 🙂

  7. You know, I have never absolutely died to get Prime, and this does not change any of that.

    OK, I think it is real. And the smart remarks keep popping into my head, but I will not put them here.

    I always thought proportions were supposed to be balanced…shows what I know.

    Karen, thank you for sharing. LOL – I believe you and I had similar reactions here….Holy S#@%

    • Yep, that was it exactly. I actually censored myself quite a bit. Why is it that single, empowered (I guess) women are always portrayed as sluts? Why can’t you be empowered and restrained? Or love yourself enough not to have seven different partners in a week?

  8. didn’t get that far. watched it up to her getting a free drink from a short guy at the bar. My eyes were rolling so much I was afraid they’d pop out!
    So. No schlong for me. Oh well.

    Equal opportunity I guess! They show plenty of boob so why not that? Seems fair. Except that part isn’t always pretty, is it?

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