1. Don’t be stupid.
Seriously, don’t go in the basement. Have you seen that new Geico commercial? It’s priceless, especially when the chainsaw murderer takes off his mask and rolls his eyes.
In other words, take the easiest way out of stupid. And don’t go in the attic, either.
2. Don’t scream.
The bad guys always find you when you scream. Bite your lip and soldier on, preferably quietly. Don’t whine, either.
3. Always keep your car in good condition.
Trust me, you need a getaway vehicle.
4. Don’t volunteer for any overnights at spooky old houses.
Especially with a bunch of people you don’t know. Especially around Halloween.
5. For heaven’s sake, keep your libido zipped unless there’s a really good lock on the door.
The last thing you want is to have your pants down – in a manner of speaking – when you have to make a hasty retreat.
6. Really know your friends.
The last thing you want is to be stranded somewhere and discover that Mark, Billy, or Susie is the axe murderer (or murderess).
7. Make sure your flashlight has new batteries. And your cell phone is charged.
You never know when you have to call for help.
How about you? Any lessons you’d like to add?