I don’t care if the arrogant twit in question is another writer, a neighbor, or the kid who amazed me at the drug store the other day.
He marched up to the counter with his two campadres – one worshipful female and another guy (more on him in a moment).
“I want a meningitis shot.”
There were four people waiting, and the staff behind the counter was busy. You could SEE that they were busy.
“Hello? I want a meningitis shot.”
The very nice pharmacist stopped what she was doing and asked, “What high school?”
“What you need to do is to get on the Lakeland web site and download the letter from the principal. After that, we can give you the shot.”
“But I’m here now.”
“And so you are,” the pharmacist said. “But we still need the letter.”
“I need the shot today.”
“Well, if you go home, get on the website, print out the letter and come back, we can give you the shot.”
“But I’m here now.”
“Okay, how much is it?”
“What about with insurance?”
“That’s with insurance.”
“That’s too much.”
The worshipful girl was trying to calm him down. The weird friend was taking pictures of the security camera.
Here’s the deal. The kid was probably 16. Maybe 17. I would never have thought to talk to anyone, let alone an adult, with that kind of attitude, voice, or demeanor. My father would have knocked me to kingdom come.
I found myself singing silent songs of hosanna:
1. That I was not his mother.
2. That my children were not in his age range.
3. That I’ve done all the teenage angst already and have the gray hairs to prove it.
The weird friend
I kept looking at the weird friend because I was absolutely amazed. The kid was about six feet tall and rail thin. He had his pants belted tight about a foot lower than his waist, over his crotch, to the point that when he walked it was with these delicate mincing steps. His underwear was a pretty aqua with a dark blue elastic waist band. But the belt’s position was just odd. I’ve seen kids with pants hanging down in the back, but this wasn’t the same thing. He had the belt really tight. Then, he had those disks in his ears that make people look like African Youbangi tribesmen. Plus, he had a cap over his head that looked to be of nylon, leaving the front of his head untouched but appearing like a snood at the neck.
Refer to the above list of why I’m glad.