Have you ever known a perfect woman, someone who can do everything and also doesn’t perspire (or glow as my grandmother called it) in the middle of summer? I have. I can think of two of them right now. They are awesome women and totally intimidating.
One of these women can do the Martha Stewart thing better than Martha, look stunning in this little “thing” she threw together last night on the sewing machine without chipping one of her (real) nails, make passionate love to her besotted husband at midnight and before breakfast, is a den mother for her son’s cub scout pack, attends each of her daughter’s piano lessons, wins the biggest account in company history, gives a great speech to the women’s business auxiliary, knits twelve pairs of socks for the church rummage sale, and then feels guilty because she hasn’t done enough!
Oh, and she’s drop-dead gorgeous.
Well, I’m calling foul.
No more perfect women.
For every attribute, you have to have one flaw. Or I’ll take two attributes to one flaw in the spirit of niceness. But you have to have at least one flaw.
- So, if you’re gorgeous, personable, can give a great speech, are a gourmet chef, and charm everyone you meet, you should at least drool in public.
- If you’re just pretty, but you’re a brain surgeon with a great pair of legs, an incredible sense of humor, and an overwhelming sense of compassion, your eyes should cross. (Not too much so that it affects your surgery, just enough to make you look goofy.)
- If you’re pretty, a wonderful homemaker, and the mother on the block everyone wishes they had, you have to have the laugh of a donkey.
Hey, it’s only fair.
Otherwise, the rest of us mortals (average people) look so much worse in comparison.