Until a few years ago I never realized there was such a thing as emotional adultery.
I read Julia Spencer-Fleming’s early books about the dawning of a relationship between a single Episcopalian priest and a married head of law enforcement of a small town. She’s the priest; he’s the sheriff or police chief or whatever (I’ve forgotten). I haven’t read the last few books but the first are very emotionally intense. They become friends and then they fall in love and although they never indulge in the physical side of the affair (until the later books), you feel the push/pull of this relationship.
I was reminded of this dear and close friend of mine. When something funny happened, even after work, Steve called Mary. Both were married to other people but they confided in each other. They were best friends. To my shock, both of them divorced. They didn’t marry each other, though. In a conversation with Steve a few months ago, he told me that his wife accused him of emotional adultery.
“She said I had a work wife. I was sharing things with her I should be sharing with my wife.”
Nowadays, hookups offer physical intimacy without ramifications.
Hookups are defined as “no guilt, no complications, no problems”. Yep, got that quote from a website. Until a few weeks ago, I had always thought of hookups as between two single adults. Then, the spam email started flooding my inbox: “Need some spark in your marriage? Have an afternoon hookup!!”
I still think women need to be emotionally involved in a relationship before it gets physical, but I may be all wet. Are women equal opportunity cheaters now?
I heard that term the other day, referring to people hiding money from their spouses. Evidently, people do it as they plan for a divorce or simply to have “extra” money.
Which is worse?
Financial infidelity speaks to a lack of trust to me. So does physical infidelity. I think emotional infidelity is a gray area, but I have seen close relationships in the workplace acting like a vampire on a marriage. If you suck the emotional energy from a relationship something’s bound to suffer.
What do you think? Which is worse? Or are they equally as toxic to a relationship?