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Weird Saturday Night Thoughts

Posted on Posted in Personal 20 Comments

I started this as a Facebook entry, then realized I was going off on a tangent. Hey, I have a place for tangents again.

Do you think stress affects your complexion? I swear, I don’t FEEL stressed, but I have been busy. I’ve also just taken a look at my production schedule for the next two years. Suffice it to say I won’t be hangin’ around the pool halls.

But now, I have a wonderful case of hives, acne, measles, or allergy bumps all over my face. My chest is itchy, too, and isn’t that a lovely sight, a woman scratching herself there? Almost as lovely as a guy doing it you know where. Okay, this is seguing into something odd, but why do guys scratch themselves? Do they believe their hand is invisible, that we can’t see what they’re doing? Also, what’s with the lift and adjust movement?

And while I’m there – in the land of no-no questions – why do some women not seem to SEE that mustache?

Hmm?

 

 

 

When Is the Worst Case Scenario NOT the Worst Case Scenario?

Posted on Posted in This Blog 27 Comments

I have a personality problem.

Yes, me, and here you thought I was so perfect. Ahem.

Here’s what it is:

1. Something goes wrong.

2. I immediately flash forward to the WORST CASE SCENARIO.

3. I begin to formulate a plan to handle the WORST CASE SCENARIO.

4. Something happens that proves that number 2 is just hysteria, and that number 1 is manageable.

Let me explain:

1. After spending a fortune to fix my car – which I drive 25 miles a month – my car wouldn’t start on two separate occasions. Once, I was stuck in a line at the gas station (cheap price). The other, I was out in the boonies.  Of course, I freaked. I waited thirty seconds, pumped the accelerator. Nada. I waited another thirty seconds (not easy in a line with cars waiting for you), and then pumped the accelerator like mad. The car finally started.

2. I immediately flashed forward to the WORST CASE SCENARIO.

  • The car is on its last legs.
  • It will cost even more money to repair.
  • I will need to buy another car.

3. In an effort to handle the WORST CASE SCENARIO, I:

  • Called the dealer to talk with the service manager. What could it be? Oh, no, not a fuel pump (cue Chicken Little music). The fuel pump on this car is located inside the gas tank, so we’re talking mucho money.
  • Immediately began to plan a life in which I don’t need a car. Cancel appointments, hire a mobile groomer (I don’t DO anal glands), and figured out what I don’t NEED to do.
  • Checked out rental cars for those times when I MUST have a car.

4. I got in the car day before yesterday. I didn’t pump anything. The car started perfectly. I’ve taken it out on five road tests in the last two days, waiting with my cell phone in hand to call Allstate Roadside Assistance. The car has run like a dream.

Okay, never mind.

Good grief. Now, this is NOT the first time I’ve done this. I’ve identified it as a pattern/personality problem. Maybe next time, I will recognize it before I get hysterical.

I realize that my way of handling WORST CASE SCENARIO situations is a survival technique. I also realize I need to relax more.

Sigh.

How about you? Do you do goofy things like this?