I have a friend who made a remark about one of her friends the other day. I’ve been thinking about her comment ever since. Here’s what she said: “She’s never on time, but I accept that from Lucy. That’s just how Lucy is.” (I don’t know Lucy.)

I’ll be among the first to tell you that I don’t have a lot of friends. Most people aren’t very understanding of the hours I keep. I work every day, sometimes 12-14 hours or more. When I spend three or four hours socializing, it means I didn’t work on other things. Does this mean I’m ferociously more important than anyone you know?

Hardly.

All it means is that I’ve obligated myself to certain things and in order to accomplish those goals I have to work like a demon.

But I digress. Back to friendships.

I have, probably, three people in my life that you could truly call friends. They know me and accept me. I know them and accept them.

But the more I’ve been thinking about my friend’s comment, the more I realized I’m not as accepting of other people as she is. For example, being late drives me absolutely bonkers. If I had a friend who was consistently late, I think it would harm our relationship. I’m not sure I could simply accept it.

Some personality characteristics annoy me more than others. Being cheap bothers me as much as throwing your money around. Being whiny is another one, as is insisting on talking about your children at every opportunity.

I think to make a friend, you have to have commonalities. As we change in life – and we all do – I think we shed old friends and gain new ones (like skin cells.)

This friend of my friend had been a childhood friend (have I said the word “friend” enough in that sentence?). Maybe growing up with someone gives you more acceptance about their character. Being an Air Force brat, I didn’t have that luxury. If I knew you for six months, that was a long-term relationship.

So, here’s my question to you:

Are you accepting of your friends’ personality characteristics, even if they don’t match your own value system?